How to Stay Happy and Motivated
Ever wonder why some people always seem to be happy while others can barely keep the state of happiness for a single day? What is it that makes them stay happy and what is it that stops others from being happy?
According to Psychologists Brickman and Campbell's Hedonic Treadmill Theory, they proposed that people immediately react to good and bad events but in a short time return to neutrality. So to put it simply we all have a marker inside that brings us back to our comfortable level of happiness irrelevant of how fast we are running on the treadmill of life. In other words no matter how happy or sad we are, this predisposed marker will bring us back to our familiar level of happiness.
So what is it that truly allows some people to be more happy than others?
More evidence-based research has shown that 50% of our capacity to be happy depends on genetic factors, 10% on external circumstances and 40% on us, our choices…
If this was true it means that my genes decide 50% of my ability to be happy and I get the choice to change it with 40%. Well if you have been reading my blog then you can see that this research is my belief system. As a result by choosing to make the choice to be happy then we can learn to get off the Treadmill and anchor every moment of happiness, which in return helps us achieve the true feeling of internal happiness.
Now lets take all of this research and information and apply it to real life!
A marathon runner trains for almost a year to be able to run a race. Once he has reached the end of the race the splurge of happiness raises this internal marker and in return builds on his self confidence. This kind of happiness can't be taken away from anyone. He trained for himself, by himself and is able to hold on to that feeling forever.
A young child works hard all year long to get the perfect grades, as a result he is rewarded with a new phone. In return this will make him feel good about himself and be able to feel proud.
What's the difference between the two goal setting examples. When we learn to set goals and the reward is self satisfying and internal our confidence level increases and as a result our internal marker of true happiness rises. Im not saying that buying things and acquiring material things will not make us happy, what I'm simply saying is that in order to find the real happiness we must truly look within ourselves. Reflecting on our internal strengths and finding what will truly get us off the treadmill of life and on the road of true happiness is a never ending learning process. However, when we learn that setting everlasting goals and achieving results that can't ever be taken away from us will as a result give us a much more continuous level of self satisfaction and in return builds our self confidence.
Now take all of that and lets teach it to our children. We are all guilty of rewarding our children with material goods ( I win the trophy), but we all see that the happiness is short lived and they drop back to their level of comfort after a short while. What if we could teach our children that the real pursuit of happiness comes from setting goals that matter and reaching them.
I have a very high level of respect for children who participate in martial arts. They start at such an early age and go through so many episodes of humiliation and yet never give up determination to achieve the next level or the next title. Another example is a person who trains day and night to eventually climb Mount Kilimanjaro. The extensive training along with the blisters and the pain and cold they undergo to eventually reach their goal and stand atop the peak of the mountain. These are achievements and rewards that can never be taken away from them.
As a result I encourage everyone to try your hardest to get off the Hedonic Treadmill by trying to live by a few simple rules ( and in some cases teach our children to live by them)
-Give yourself permission to be human; meaning allow yourself to feel happy, sad, even fear and anxiety ( without emotions we feel frustration )
-Simplify- stop trying to do so many things at the same time and expect perfection. Slow down.
-Set goals that have meaning and count. Work hard to achieve each goal once at a time.
-Try to focus on the positive and practice gratitude. Gratitude is the best way to shift yourself into a positive state.
-Put efforts into things that matter and let the rest be. By putting our energy and focus into the things that truly count we learn to increase our internal happiness.
Once we learn and can teach our children that goals like these are what truly make us happy internally and in return give us the confidence to be able to achieve success then the rest will all fall into place.
